The Lone Wolf Returns
The Lone Wolf Returns
The Lone Wolf? The Lone Wolf.
Air date 08-21-13
Written by Alpha-Lonewolf
Location City
Other episodes by the author


Shopper War



The Lone Wolf returns with a short episode of his vigilante heroics.


(shows the city at night as it runs the way it always has. Then zooms in to a police chase with three cars on the run)

Street Artist 1: You pendejo cops will never catch us! (shoots at the cops with machine gun)

Chad Cop: Stop in the name of the law fucker! (fires back)

Street Artist 2: This is sweet man. We got chikas, money, and burritos all in one night (shows three tied and gagged girls with money and burritos in the back seat) and they don’t know which car has what.

Street Artist 1: (on the radio) Alright tacos, lets get ready to loose these putas. Uno…

(One of other gang members gets a sword sunk into his head through the car roof and the car looses control and flips over off the road)

Street Artist 1: Dos…

(The next car’s driver then has a spear come through the windshield and stabs him in the balls)

Driver: Aye! My hot tamale!

(Car veers off the road and into a brick wall and explodes)

Street Artist 1: Tres! Go go go! (sees the cars are gone) Que? What happened to the other pendejos?

Street Artist 2: Amigo, you don’t think it was him?

Street Artist 1: No man that is just a bed time story.

Lone Wolf: (lands on the hood of the car) Is it?

Street Artist: HOLY CUCARACHAS!!!

(Lone Wolf pulls out a great axe and slams it into the engine. The car then fails to stop or turn as they drive into a hunting store. The street artist walk out of the car)

Street artist 1: Aye man, where are we.

(both look around to see bear traps, different assorted knives and machetes, and head mount plaques with two of them empty that has the street artist names on them)

Street Artist 2: This is bad amigo. (hears no response) Amigo? (looks around and doesn’t see anything until he heard himself step in a small puddle) Que? (Looks down to see a small pool of blood) Holy frajitas!

(the street artist backs into the wall until he feels something dripping on his shoulder. He backs out and turns to the wall to see the head of the other Street artist)

Street Artist 2: Fuck this shit man! I’m out of here!

(Tries to run to the door but then sees a figure standing there.)

Street Artist 2: What are you a werewolf?!

Lone Wolf: I am hell come to claim you.

Street Artist 2: (pleads on his knees) Please Mr. Wolf! Let me go and I promise to never be bad again!

Lone Wolf: (pulls out a serrated edge rusted sword) You knew I was around (spins sword) and you still did crime. Now reap what you sow.

(Lone Wolf swings his sword at the Street Artist right before the scene blacks out with a scream)

Chad Cop: (later is investigating the hunting store) Alright what have we got?

Cop: Well the girls are safe, the money will be returned to where it came from as well as the burritos.

Chad Cop: Thank God for the burritos. What about the gang?

Cop: The others died in the car crashes and well…

Chad Cop: What happened to the leaders?

Cop: Come with me.

(both cops come inside the store and see a gruesome sight of body parts hanging from bear traps, a counter full of bloodied knives machetes and pieces of flesh, and the head mounts on the wall showing a grim image of the Street Artists)

Chad Cop: The Lone Wolf?

Cop: The Lone Wolf.

(Shows The Lone Wolf crouching over the corner of a high building in the full moon as a Wolf’s howl cries out) 



  • 1/5 Unicorn Barf!
  • 2/5 It was like Meh.
  • 3/5 I guess it was... pretty good.
  • 4/5 This is like crazy right?
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