Public Enemy Color Red
Ninjas and Red
Written by B1K3
Other episodes by the author


Gold's Virus


This is the first episode ever made by B1K3, and the first ever episode of the Agents of FAGS.


Just as Red kills another person, that brings him up to the top list of FAGS Most Wanted. Now, the FAGS are trying to kill him, he will face Ninjas, Snipers and something scarier than everything.


(episode starts with Red and Blue chasing a Hobo in the middle of the street)


Blue: You mean mine?

Red: Well, you did give it to me.

Blue: (sighs) You mean you punched me and took it from me?

Red: Yes... But I was starving!

Blue: You had more than a dozen!

(Red suddenly runs forward and tackles the hobo, the burrito flies out of the hobo's hand and onto the road, suddenly, the hobo breaks free)

Red: (gets up with a rifle) Oh no you don't. (shoots)

(the bullet hits the hobo square in the head and falls down on the road, blood spurts out of his chest and goes all over the taco, the body is then run over several times by cars)

Red: Fuck, there's blood on my burrito...

Blue: You've eaten a pizza with blood and napkins before, why not a burrito with blood and tire tracks?

Red: Because it's not my blood, so. You up for a taco?

(Lord Tourettes suddenly appears next to them)

Lord Tourettes: Sure, I could go for a big (spazzes) DICK!

(screen switches to a dark room, Silver and gold are talking to a silhouette)

Silver: Sir, Red just killed another person 3 seconds ago.

Silhouette Guy: Then. We must commence... Operation Wipeout.

Gold: No. Not Operation Wipeout.

Silhouette Guy: Yes, we will start. (presses a button) Now.

(screen switches to a Mexican Restaurant, the screen zooms in to see Red and Blue eating burritos)

Red: Mmm. These are good.

Blue: Yeah, I know, I think we should tip th-

(suddenly, a helicopter lifts the whole roof out, then ninjas come out of nowhere, frightening people in the restaurant and making them flee)

White Ninja: (comes down from the sky) ATTACKEE-LE!

(all the ninjas head out to Red and start attacking him, he uppercuts one and snaps another ninja's neck, the he decapitates a guy with a butter knife and uses the head to knock over another ninja, he finally faces the White Ninja, who is about to charge at him but stops when Red sees the Fat Ugly Girl)

Red: (points to the door) I told you to get out.

(the Fat Ugly girl sulks and walks to the door)

(Red and the White Ninja continue their fight, Red start punching the White Ninja really fast, but the White Ninja blocks every punch and goes back a few steps, it pants for a few seconds before charging at Red a second time, Red suddenly takes a fork from a table and stabs the White Ninja's head with it, the Ninja falls down and dies)

Red: There.

(Blue stares in shock)

(half of the screen pops out with the Silhouette Guy with a fuzzy line in the middle)

Silhouette Guy: He's stronger than we though, bring out the snipers. (presses a button)

(the line and the Silhouette Guy disappear)

(Red and Blue walk out of the restaurant, that are holding a few burrito wrappers)

Red: Man, that was fun.

Blue: You killed a lot of people...

Red: Who ca-

Blue: What.

Red: (punches Blue in the face) I sense... a disturbance in the force. (suddenly takes out a machine gun out of a wrapper, ironically, the gun is bigger than the wrapper)

Red: DIE BEEYOTCHES! (fires the machine gun rapidly at all the top windows of buildings)

(line and Silhouette Man appear)

Silhouette Man: Hmm, he's stronger than I expected, okay you two, go and get him, (screen zooms out to reveal Gold and Silver) and recruit him. But tell him he has to face one more thing.

Silver: (gets out with Gold) Hey, we come from FAGS, we-

(Blue and Red start laughing maniacally)

Blue: (still laughing) Fags? Fags? Seriously?

Gold: (gets out his gun) Shut the fuck up.

(Red and Blue stop laughing)

Silver: We're the guys that sent you those ninjas and snipers! Like the present?

Blue: Like it? You almost killed us!

Red: Yeah, but it was AWESOME!

Gold: But our boss said there was one more thing... Come with us, we'll show you. (both get in car)

Blue: Sorry, I don't take rides with strangers.

Red: (gets in car and pulls Blue with him) HECK YEAH!


Gold: We're here.

(all get out of the car)

Everybody: HOLY SHIT!

(screen zooms out to reveal a giant Pedobear)



  • I'm making the animation for it currently, and the fight with Pedobear is in it, so stay tuned!

Critical Reception

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The poll was created at 13:36 on June 19, 2012, and so far 12 people voted.