| Crappy Valentine's Day | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Air date | June 2013 |
| Written by | YoshiRocker13, Alpha-Lonewolf and Fluffydragonpuppy |
| Other episodes by the author | |
Fortune of Luck |
Dragged to Hell |
Today is Valentine's Day and every guy is having a good time with their girlfriends. However Wolf hates Valentine's Day and Fox expects him to do something nice for her. But does Wolf have the chance, especially when he's a crazy killer?
Characters[]
- Wolf
- Fox
- Red
- Blue
- Rapper
- Lord Tourettes
- Raccoon
- Trollz0r
- Pink
- Stacy
- Mr Dingleberry
- Broseph
- Emily
- Wednesday (mentioned)
- Lady Tourettes (mentioned)
Transcript[]
(Blue is seen giving Pink some chocolate)
Blue: Happy Valentine's Day Pink!
Pink: (touched) Oh Blue, you're spoiling me!
Blue: What do you mean about that, Pink?
Pink: Well look behind me. (Blue sees all the other gifts he gave Pink) I know you really like me Blue but you can't just waste all your money on me.
Blue: (laughs nervously) Oh yeah.
Pink: I just hope you learn that lesson.
Blue: Okay.
Pink: Come here you! (pulls Blue to her and they start kissing)
(scene cut to Red & Stacy having sex in bed while tongue kissing)
Stacy: This is like the best Valentine's day EVER!
Red: We've been making out for the WHOLE day!
Stacy: So let's keep sexing and making!
Red: Is sexing even a word? (shrugs) Ah what the fuck. (continues tongue kissing Stacy)
(shows 2 Street Artists running and keep shooting behind them, as seen they are trying to shoot Wolf)
Street Artist 1: Back off puto! You never stop us from stealing burritos!
Wolf: You can't run forever! I will see blood shed today! (pulls out a mounted mini gun)
Street Artists 2: Look! He has Mini gun!
Street Artist 1: Shit!
Wolf: Say hello to my special friend and he has brought a party of over nine thousand! (starts firing crazily)
Street Artist 2: (gets shot) Fuck!
Street Artist 1: Nooooo!! (pulls out a bomb and throws it near Wolf who dodges it but when the smoke clears the Street Artist is not seen)
Wolf: (uses high senses to waits and listens for a certain smell or sound)
(Fox comes up behind Wolf but Wolf pulls a knife out in Fox's face)
Wolf: Fox! what the fuck?! I could have killed you!
Fox: Wolf! Could I actually ask why you just knifed me in the face!?
Wolf: I'm hunting a couple of avocados.
Fox: What?!
Wolf: Two Guadalajarans who are still very green. (finds a blood trail) And I think they're bleeding guacamole.
Fox: Do you know what day it is?
Wolf: I'm guessing It's Saturday.
Wolf: Um, well I usually take a killing spree on a weekend.
Fox: Are you kidding me?
Wolf: If I was, I would be laughing.
(while talking to Fox, Wolf suddenly sees the Street Artists and tries to chase them but is still talking to Fox)
Fox: (face palms) It's Valentines Day!
Wolf: Well good for him.
Red: Are you fucking kidding me!?
Wolf: Well like I told Fox; if I was kidding, I'd be laughing. (pounces on Street Artist from the roof)
Red: Yo Fox! In case Wolf forgets about you, (pulls out chocolates) Happy Valentine's Day! As a friend!
Fox: Aw thanks Red. You see Wolf! Even Red knows what to do on Valentine's day!
Red: So do something nice for her, dumbass! But if you happen to change your mind on the whole friends issue... (Sees Fox's stern stare) Uh nevermind.
Wolf: Wait you are saying I have to be a pussy like Red and buy something sweet and mushy?
Red: Hey!
Fox: Just at least give me something that says you care about me like you would a sister.
Red: Well come on dude! It's just something nice for Fox! Go buy flowers or chocolates for her or something!
Wolf: Those gifts are what vaginas buy. I'm going to get something that a man would give.
Fox: Oh great I can't wait to see this.
(Wolf looks for Rapper)
Rapper: Sup Wolf my man!
Wolf: Cut the shit. I need to know where there is a massive gang meeting.
Rapper: Well there's one going on at Red & Blue's apartment.
(at the apartment it shows L.T. Raccoon, Trollz0r and Blue all talking about Valentine's Day when Wolf starts scaling the bulding the listening to the voices through the window)
Blue: So guys, how was Valentine's Day for you?
Lord Tourettes: Lady Tourettes was the FUCK of my dream!
Raccoon: Varentine's Day reminds me of my wife.
Trollz0r: (Rage face) I don't have a girlfriend! (Forever alone face) This day is just a sad day for me!
Blue: So before we end this day, let's say our moto. It's Valentine's Day and no matter who we're with, a girlfriend or a sister like friend, you must make that girl happy and buy some nice things for them, make them feel happy, but most inportantly: Make sure they have a great time. (Wolf overhears this) Alright guys let's get out of here.
Wolf: (smiles mischievously) This will do. (heads down to the ground. Fox sits in a park on the grass. Then she sees Wolf coming over but is skeptical when she sees that he has nothing in his hands.)
Fox: (crosses arms) Well what is it?
Wolf: Have I planned a little something for you.
Fox: What did you do?
(Back at the apartment)
Blue: Urg! why won't this door open!?
Trollz0r: Let's get Mr. Dingleberry!
Lord Touretters: Of course. That ASSHOLE must have the FUCKING keys to the VAGINA!!!
(Dingleberry comes with the keys)
Mr. Dingleberry: Now which one of you assholes locked the front door?
(Turns the key and it triggers a bomb. The explosion could be seen from the park and the cloud resembles a heart.)
Wolf: I wanted to give you a blast for Valentines Day Fox.
Fox: (Furrows her eyes at Wolf but she can't help but smile) Oh Wolf, What am I going to do with you?
Red: (throws thumbs up at Wolf) Nice going Wolf.
Wolf: Keep me on you're good side. (remembers) Speaking of which, I have to go hunt down an amigo I left behind (cocks gun and runs off)
(now it shows Broseph with Emily)
Broseph: (gives Emily new One Direction CDs) Happy Valentine's Day bacon.
Emily: Eek! He called me bacon! (faints)
Broseph: Uhh Emily? Well now I have to give my valentine to Wednesday as well.
-Episode Ends-